At MatthewNet Homestead Terminal and Residential compound, we deal with premium frozen assets. Each cube is hand inspected by a guy named Pavel(We don’t know who he is, he just keeps showing up), this ensures our ice is colder than your ex’s heart, and is more reliable than her too. Every cube is frozen with love, filtered more than your Instagram pics, and bagged by people who know what they’re doing, or at least pretend to really well. Available in bags, buckets, or suspicious looking piles in the back of vans, we don’t judge. Please note: any legal inquiries, subpoenas, Cease and Desist orders, or oddly specific questions about what’s inside the ice should be directed to our attorney, who can be CALLED, not texted, at 505-503-4455. For other questions, TEXT, not call, our CEO at 417-366-3798. For complaints and concerns(non legal), please contact (213) 514-6509, and we will profesionally ignore it.
Quality assurance is extremely important to us. Each batch undergoes our rigorous Triple C Certification Process:
1.Cold
2.Colder
3.C... We forgot what the third C stands for, but Pavel approved it.
Should you experience any issues with your ice (for example: it melts, it's cold, or it's so perfectly cube shaped you think it was made by aliens), please understand that this is just a normal part of the MatthewNet experience.
MatthewNet Navigation Advisory Alert(!):If you are a little slow, the purple buttons are hyperlinks. Clicking them will take you to other parts of the webpage. This revolutionary technology is being called "a link". It's okay, take your time.